Baby ducks!

More wisdom from th e gas station...

House on fire.

Vaselines. Does all my cell phone concert pics look the same?

TONIGHT AT THEATER SCHMEATER...

FINALLY

Someone who writes for National Review comes out against torture. Thank you, Mr. Manzi.

It's a duck, just chillin' by the sidewalk.

"MOVE ON"

Punishing those responsible for war crimes is not "scapegoating". You know what scapegoating is? It's throwing Lynndie England in jail for following orders given by George W. Bush, while leaving him to the luxury of a Texan suburb.

Today's TSA terrorism alert level

Today's TSA terrorism alert level is High. Greaaat.

Torture and Me

Now that what we all suspected and really, already knew, about this country's torture apparatus under George W. Bush has come to light, I'm a little numbed.

A few weeks ago, Rush Limbaugh sneered that supporting torture defined being a Republican. I agree with him, and I'd go further: torture defines being an American.

SC culture Part One of a series

Planes are so amazing.

They're still trying to deport

They're still trying to deport Jan 'Ivan the Terrible' Demjanuk? Seriously they've been trying since I was a boy.

X

NATIONAL REVIEW ON MARRIAGE

National Review has "clarified" their thinking on the gay marriage plague that's so tempting straight white men like me. One sentence in particular jumped out at me:

Both as a social institution and as a public policy, marriage exists to foster connections between heterosexual sex and the rearing of children within stable households.

Doesn't that sound like something General Jack D. Ripper would say?




Andrew Sullivan points out that National Review is at least being consistent. From 1957:

Twenty-year-olds do not generally have the vote, and it is not seriously argued that the difference between 20 and 21-year-olds is the difference between slavery and freedom. The residents of the District of Columbia do not vote: and the population of D.C. increases by geometric proportion. Millions who have the vote do not care to exercise it; millions who have it do not know how to exercise it and do not care to learn. The great majority of the Negroes of the South who do not vote do not care to vote, and would not know for what to vote if they could.

What the heck? I can't go anywhere without Greg Nickels turning up.

I've been here before but I cannot remember the circumstances. Hmmm...

AWESOME

I have hit bottom

I THINK I BRAIN MY BROKE

I just saw Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D at the Imax. I sat in the second row.

WHAT A FUCKING IMBECILE

Republicans can't even be bothered to insert numbers into their budget proposal.

SIDE EFFECTS

Heard on a commercial: "Abilify may lead to heart failure or death."

Uh...

Seriously, I know death is a possible side effect, but it ought to be more a result of complications from side effects, rather than a side effect in its own right.

I would love to read

I would love to read a comic called 'Dennis the Maakies'.

RIGHT WING JACKASS

In a post entitled Not So Stimulating, David Freddoso at National Review Online makes what I'm sure was an easy crack about the stimulus package not creating jobs.

If the stimulus package fails to create any jobs, at least it will guarantee that there's a place for all of Pawtucket's unemployed teenagers to go during the summer.

In this city burdened with one of Rhode Island’s highest home foreclosure rates and a $10-million current-year budget deficit, $550,000 in federal stimulus money is coming to build a skateboarding park and renovate tennis and basketball courts at Jenks Junior High School.

Yep, those facilities are just going to construct themselves.

I don't know where I am.

I just used cruise control

I just used cruise control for the first time in years. I'm listening to the 70 minute 'Dopesmoker' the only song on Sleep's album 'Dopesmoker.'

RANDOM THOUGHT

Are we all crazy to use microwave ovens?

OSCAR NIGHT LIVEBLOG

5:46 Where to begin? Jackman, I already pity. Looking at Tilda Swinton, I though that she was going to represent her 84 Best Supporting Actress forebears in the form of some kind of interpretive dance. She looked like she was wearing a sack. Are they really describing the performances?

5:48 If this was some kind of Modern Theatre Intrepreation, Winton would be playing Madness.

5:49 Penelope Cruz. Shit, too late to make a bet.

6:07 What is this crazy music for the animation oscar clip?

7:27 Yawn.

What happened here?

A Lynchian scene at the Blue Star Diner.

DEPRESSING THROUGHT

"Probabilities indicate that [Steve Austria (R-OH) is not the stupidest conservative in congress."
-- Matt Yglesias

JUST IMAGINE... Richard Nixon on

JUST IMAGINE...
Richard Nixon on cocaine...

Today's elephant - look closely in the center.

NO MATCH FOR ISRAEL

But there are a couple attractive Iraqi police-ladies.

Holy crap, Australia is about fifteen pounds of ridiculous.

Why do we have to ruin a perfectly good inauguration with a poem?

GOODBYE PRESIDENT ASSHOLE

It sounds like maybe one person is clapping for Bush. Ha.

BUSH BY THE NUMBERS

Some are brilliant:

Minimum number of close-up photographs of Bush’s hands owned by his current chief of staff, Josh Bolten: 4

Number of vehicles in the motorcade that transports Bush to his regular bike ride in Maryland: 6

Some engrossing:

Estimated total calories members of Congress burned giving Bush’s 2002 State of the Union standing ovations: 22,000

Days since the federal government first placed the nation under an “elevated terror alert” that the level has been relaxed: 0

Some sickening:

Factor by which an Iraqi in 2006 was more likely to die than in the last year of the Saddam regime: 3.6

Factor by which the cause of death was more likely to be violence: 120

And of course:

Average percentage of Americans who approved of the job Bush was doing during his second term: 37

Percentage of Russians today who approve of the direction their country took under Stalin: 37

DONN ROGER MILLER

OCTOBER 21, 1936-DECEMBER 30, 2008

Donn was born October 21, 1936 in Wichita, Kansas, to Fern and Wilkie Miller. He was the fifth of the couple’s six children. He wed Lorene Sausser on December 23, 1962 and the couple had one daughter, Karen Elizabeth. He studied business at Wichita State University and Emporia State University, but dedicated his life-long career to his passion for music.

As a jazz musician, he formed the Donn Miller Trio, which played in Topeka and Kansas City in the 1960’s and in Denver in the 1970’s. He also played solo piano, and lent his talents to many jazz groups and combos throughout his life. At the same time, Donn developed his skills in piano tuning and repair, reaching the level of Registered Piano Technician (RPT) and Certified Tuning Examiner (CTE) within the Piano Technicians Guild. After working for Jenkins Music Company in Kansas City, he moved to Denver in 1967 and opened his own shop, The Piano Spotlight. In 1980, Donn became the tuner for the music college at the University of Colorado at Boulder, and later held a similar position for Denver Public Schools. In his 20-year service to DPS, he mentored other tuners and continued to tune for private clients.

Donn retired in 2004 and moved to Kansas City to be closer to his daughter and her family, where he was a loving “Daddad” to his granddaughter, Lili Caroline. He was preceded in death by his parents; brothers Wilkie and Bill; and Sisters Irma and Marilyn. Survivors include his wife, of Leawood; daughter Karen Plummer and her husband Jonathan Plummer of Kansas City; granddaughter, Lili, 5; Brother James David of Aiken, S.C.; and many cousins, nieces, nephews and in-laws.

In accordance with his wishes, Donn will be cremated. The family requests memorial donations be made to the Piano Technicians Guild Foundation, the Country Club Congregational United Church of Christ, or a charity of your choice.

The above clip is Donn playing a song he composed to celebrate the birth of my cousin Karen.

Something clearly happened here while I was away.

This has the looks of an absolutely fucking brutal accident scene.

There's a shoe lying up the sidewalk.

Really, what a fucking stupid place to put an enourmous fucking ashtray.

HOLY SHIT, J.D. SALINGER IS STILL ALIVE

Happy birthday, Mr. Salinger.

THOUGHTS ON THE ILIAD AND OTHER THINGS

Virginia Ledoyen was once described as "ridiculously beautiful," and Diane Kruger could not be described so, which I think is a requirement to be Helen of Troy.

On the other hand the ancient Greeks were a highly gay people, so it’s possibled that Helen was a simply fabulous drag queen. Six foot two, mustache, adams apple, and a clownishly made-up face that launched a thousand ships.

It always seems like whenever we try to talk about the good points of Nazism, somebody always has to bring up the Holocaust.

I hate Ted Haggard, and his shitty song Okie From Muskogee, and it figures he’s a meth head

Kate Winslet plays a concentration camp guard trading sex for reading lessons from a 15 year old boy. I could make that movie perfect wih those ingredients.

I was the most interesting and successful person at my high school reunion. I envy my classmates who had the opportunity to interact with me.

Happy New Year!

HOLIDAY MOVIE OBSERVATIONS

Chasing someone out of the house with a scythe is a sure way to cure agoraphobia.

More wisdom from the crazy bastard who does the signs on the 45th Street Chevron.

"This is a farewell kiss, dog."

In case it isn't obvious, I'm wearing a fur.

Snowman coming soon...

BUSH LOOKS BACK

Turning to domestic matters, on the Supreme Court, the president expressed happiness with his picks of John Roberts and Samuel Alito. “My regret is I didn’t get to name a third judge,” [Bush] told us.

Translation: "I wish John Paul Stevens had died."

AND A MOTHER FIGHTS.... TO SAVE THE LIFE OF HER OWN CHILD

Tonight on ER. Seriously, this show is still on?

"TEAM OF RIVALS"

Now Bill Richardson is rumored as Obama's Secretary of Commerce. John Edwards the only Democratic primary contender left without a job in the administrative branch. I'm trying to think if this sort of thing is unprecedented.

Permanent wave machine

ACTUAL GOVERNEMENT ORDER

“An Administrative Review Board has reviewed the information about you that was talked about at the meeting on 02 December 2005 and the deciding official in the United States has made a decision about what will happen to you. You will be sent to the country of Afghanistan. Your departure will occur as soon as possible.”

"[T]he information that was talked about the meeting" doesn't even sound like legal language, It sounds like something I would say in traffic court. I wonder if Bush wrote it himself.

Wtf?

I'm in the south

Tranny hookers?! Sign me up!

Hope even finds its way into public restrooms.

FUCK BRIAN WILLIAMS!

FUCK BRIAN WILLIAMS!

I bet Savannah Guthrie likes

I bet Savannah Guthrie likes to rock the party. I sure wish I were in Phoenix tonight.

Just to be clear, I

Just to be clear, I Called the election for Obama like ten minutes ago before it became obvious.

As I write this, Obama

As I write this, Obama has 200 electoral votes. When you considr that the entire west coast is in the tank, then that's it. I'm calling it. Obama

DEMOCRACY!

What I did after Yonder.

And that's a wrap!

And that's a wrap!

Big time producer Dave Miller spends his final night of Yonder production engaged in what we'll charitably call prop management.

MARCH OF THE PENGUINS

In this video, mankind launches a valiant rescue effort, and hundreds of penguins march hilariously into the sea.

More from the dream factory.