WHAT'S THE DEAL?

There are two movies about necrophelia opening today.

GREAT INTERNET NERDITRY

Something magical is happening in the online comic book community.

Wikipedia, as its name implies, is a an online encyclopedia edited by users. As is the case with many individuals, the site maintains a page on comic book artist John Byrne.

Byrne objected to some information in the article, and made a few edits. Compare the original page to Byrne's edits. He obviously had some objections.

You can get a good context of the rest of the developments at Fanboy Rampage.

Basically, what ensued was some kind of editing flame war. The articles were rapidly edited in quick sucession, eliminating and adding comments like, "He is currently working mainly for DC Comics, much to the horror of DC Comics fans who revile the way tha Byrne ruins characters left and right with senseless retcons and blatant contempt for any writer who isn't him."

And: Byrne is known for his egotism and his belief that only he knows how comics should be written, to th point that Byrne actively undermines and uses retcons to erase other writers stories from canon that Byrne dislikes. These have led to Byrne, in many fans opinions, to "ruin" numerous characters beyond all repair and are often called Byrne Victims by angry comic fans.

Byrne has also gained controveries for opinions ranging from his hatred for hispanic women who dye their hair to Christopher Reeves, who Byrne ironically used as inspiration for his controversial 1986 reboot of the Superman comic franchise.

Other accusations on the page: A controversial writer/artist known for his use of the "N-Word" and hatred for blonde latino women, Christopher Reeves (who Byrne believes should not be considered a "hero" for the way he dealt with his crippling injuries substained in a horse riding accident) and anatomically correct robots, Byrne is imfamous for his hatred for anything not done by him. Many fans blame his widely beloved Superman reboot for starting this, as John Byrne took on a jihad in the wake of the reboot's success to "fix" all comic books and comic franchises that didn't need fixing, leaving a trail of damaged characters, who thanks to Byrne's pointless meddling, have been rendered so utterly defiled so as to prevent any further writers from using them.

List of victims of Byrne (called "Byrne Victims") include:

* Donna Troy (erased from existence and replaced with a clay statue doppleganger)

* Vision (castrated, vivisected, mind erased)

* Wonder Man and Wasp (turned into mean-spirited bastards who plotted to destroy Vision and Scarlet Witch's marriage)

* Scarlet Witch (children killed by the devil who's powers were used to conceive them, driven insane, marriage dissolved)

* Spider-Man (past perverted, wife murdered off),

* Sandman (Marvel Comics version, revealed to have faked his turn to the side of good, which created such hatred from fans that Marvel imeadiately retconned Byrne's retcon so that Sandman was instead brainwashed into becoming evil instead of faking his reformation instead)

* Doom Patrol (purged from existence)

* The New Teen Titans (who had huge chunks of their history erased due to the team's past history working alongside the Doom Patrol members Robotman and Mento, and it's roster featuring former Doom Patrol member Changling)

* The Demon (all non-Jack Kirby storied declared never of happening), Wonder Woman (killed off)

* The second Spider-Woman Julia Carpenter (crippled)

* Mary Jane Watson-Parker (turned into an obnoxious bitch and killed off)

* J. Jonah Jameson (turned into an uncaring bastard, complete with huge chunks of his past erased from canon)

* Dr. Octopus (disfigured, backstory connected to Spiderman's), Vulture (given a crappy costume)

* The Incredible Hulk (turned into a murderer and had his backstory changed needlessly to make the Skrulls responsible for Banner becoming the Hulk).

In the world of John Byrne, only he knows what good comic books and has his own message board (Byrne Robotics) where he holds court and has a gaggle of twelve drooling fanboys syncophanticly worshipping him and buying into Byrne's hatespeach. Those who call Byrne out on his evil often are banned and any sort of non-company line discussion is promptly deleted into the void.

Byrne is currently working as artist for Action Comics, after his controversial Doom Patrol reboot failed miserably saleswise and a new Demon series, which has proven Byrne once again a fraud by featuring graphic violence, which Byrne has criticized other writers of doing in non-Byrne penned books.



This edit is priceless: John Lindley Byrne (born July 6, 1950) is a British-born now naturalised American author and artist of comic books. He is a God among men, he is a genius that rivals Einstein. He is an artist that would make Paul Gauguin give up children. He's a writer that would make Honoré de Balzac give up writing literature and put out a new series of Dr Seuss books, involving pants. He is a rock God. He is a guru. He is a legend. He is King baby. HHe was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He has a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they make Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, John Byrne is the balls.

Also: A controversial writer/artist known for his use of the "N-Word" and hatred for blonde latino women, Christopher Reeves (who Byrne believes should not be considered a "hero" for the way he dealt with his crippling injuries substained in a horse riding accident) and anatomically correct robots, Byrne is imfamous for his hatred for anything not done by him. Many fans blame his widely beloved Superman reboot for starting this, as John Byrne took on a jihad in the wake of the reboot's success to "fix" all comic books and comic franchises that didn't need fixing, leaving a trail of damaged characters, who thanks to Byrne's pointless meddling, have been rendered so utterly defiled so as to prevent any further writers from using them.

Another small addition: Please bear in mind that John Byrne is a very, very silly man who is not to be taken seriously under any circumstances.

Later, on a much simplified page, Byrne's prose bibliography is defaced: John L. Byrne's Fear of blonde Latinos AND word bubbles Book (1988; ISBN 0446348147)

It's like Monty Python.

And it keeps coming: Known affectinately by his board members as "Johnny Redbeard", John Byrne has been known to host many a cocktail party at his "stately manor" where his predominantly male message board members can all relax with each other and discuss men in tights in the comfort of his sauna or pool.

Meanwhile, in an epic thread at Byrne's own website, as war is declared and battle come down.

Anyway, it's all good nerd flamewar fun. It's why I read the internet sometimes.

The best thing about this soap opera of penguin homo-amory are the names: If I were to write a children's story about two gay penguins, Roy and Silo would be the perfect names for them.

Edited to add:

It just occured to me. A great children's book about a couple of gay dogs would be The Adventures of Bingo and Chipp.

F FOR TRUTH

I WOULD BE A LOYAL VIEWER

The Pitch: A Series About Wacky Terrorists
By DAVID M. HALBFINGER, The New York Times

LOS ANGELES (Sept. 1) -- Here are a few highlights from the hottest Hollywood script you will most likely never see produced on a television or movie screen:

• Abu, Ahmed, Musab and Salar, a cell of Islamic terrorists sent to Chicago by a nefarious network resembling Al Qaeda, are getting chewed out by their murderous boss, just in from Afghanistan. (They have been spending the organization's money like crazy but haven't blown anything up.) Just then, two deliverymen knock on the apartment door, bearing a huge flat-screen TV.

• Ahmed, whose cover is a job as a bike messenger, falls in love with a neighborhood florist - who turns out to be Jewish - but can't get up the nerve to ask her out. "You're bright, you're funny, you're talented," Musab says, urging his comrade on. "Who made the best nail bomb in training camp? You did!"

• Abu blends in by joining a bowling team, and becomes a fanatic: "We will dance in the blood of the losers from Hal's Body and Paint Shop!" he vows. But he is a hapless terrorist. A fertilizer bomb in his trunk accidentally goes off outside when he is bowling for the league championship - toppling his last two pins and clinching victory.

"The Cell," as this exercise in envelope-pushing is titled, has been making its way through Hollywood for more than a year, cracking up development executives and their assistants, being passed from friend to friend like an underground newspaper behind the Iron Curtain, and winning its creators, Mark Jordan Legan and Mark F. Wilding, scores of meetings and three other writing assignments.

Sacha Baron Cohen, the star of "Da Ali G Show" on HBO, talked about producing "The Cell" for a cable channel like Comedy Central. An executive at Warner Brothers talked about pitching it to British television. The television eminences Warren Littlefield and Marcy Carsey raved about it.

"It was absolutely outrageous, it was smart, it was funny," said Mr. Littlefield, the former NBC Entertainment president. "When they said what the subject matter was, I said, 'Oh my God, how can they do that?' And they did - they pulled it off."

But the accolades invariably led nowhere.

This, it seems, is a comedic concept too explosive to touch.

Though a number of dramatic movies and mini-series about 9/11 are already being produced, executives who passed on "The Cell" told the writers they feared that Americans - particularly in New York and Washington - were nowhere near ready for a sitcom that could be seen as trivializing the attacks, even after four years.

"They always want you to think outside the box, then when you do, they say, 'What the hell's the matter with you?' " said Mr. Legan, 45, a Virginian.

"People say tragedy plus time equals comedy, but the timing is always iffy," said Matt Solo, Mr. Wilding's agent. "It's still too close to 9/11, and 9/11 can repeat itself. You'd be sinking money into it, and then at some point, there'd be a tragedy out there in the world. Imagine you're on the hook for tens of millions, and then you get a massive boycott."

Or consider the lag time before "Hogan's Heroes," set in a Nazi P.O.W. camp, came on the air in 1965. "They couldn't have done that show five years after the war," said Mr. Wilding. And "M*A*S*H," the antiwar sitcom that came out in 1972, was set in the Korean War, 20 years past.

With the fight against terrorism far from over, the clock may not even have started ticking toward acceptability for a satire like "The Cell," said Mr. Solo, of International Creative Management. "I think we just have to wait on this one," he said, "probably a generation."

While the script's heroes are ostensibly out to kill and paralyze Americans with fear, the running joke of "The Cell" is that they quickly fall in love with Americans and Americana. They order Domino's Pizza and heat up Hot Pockets, and get weak-kneed over super-sizes and double coupons and sexy college women. They become Chicago Cubs fans - these are hapless terrorists, after all - and derive their cultural literacy straight from television and the movies: their secret password is "Kelly Ripa."

And they love the lives they are living as Americans. Salar, under cover as a college student, becomes the teacher's pet. Abu, the bowler, becomes his team's emotional center. Musab, effectively the housewife, becomes a prize-winning cook thanks to the Food Network. Only at their supposedly deadly work are they miserable failures.

"It's the antiterrorist show," said Robin Schwarz, president of Regency Television, the maker of "Malcolm in the Middle," who said she had been casting "The Cell" in her head and still hoped to produce it for a network.

"It's a love letter to America," said Mr. Wilding, 48, from Connecticut, who is a writer on "Grey's Anatomy" on ABC. "It's about how these guys came to figure out how to live in the country and not hurt anybody."

The idea for "The Cell" arose in frustration. Mr. Wilding was writing for "Jake 2.0," the UPN series, and lamented that all its villains had to be terrorists. Mr. Legan, whom he met when both worked on "Dave's World" in 1994, flippantly suggested that they write a sitcom about terrorists. And the idea took hold.

Soon after, struggling to find a hook into the material, Mr. Legan was driving on Ventura Boulevard, the busy commercial strip through the San Fernando Valley, with every chain store known to man. "I was passing signs for Ralph's, double coupons; Sizzler, all-you-can-eat; filet of fish for a dollar - and I called Mark and said, 'This is the way in,'" Mr. Legan said. Mr. Wilding added that there was an element of truth to the material: "Even the terrorists who did 9/11, they were at Hooters and strip clubs the night before," he said.

With a draft in hand early last year, their agents shopped the script to TV executives, and, later, to film studios. "Invariably, the executives would say, 'We love it; who's doing it?' " Mr. Wilding recalled.

Executives at Fox, the writers and their agents said, countered that maybe the terrorists could be Albanians - or demons.

Mr. Baron Cohen, who could not be reached, proposed taking "The Cell" to British television. "We thought that in Britain it might be more palatable than here," Mr. Solo said. But then the London bombings occurred. "That's the case in point," he added. "It looks good till it looks bad."

The script is subversive in some gentle ways, poking fun at TV shows and even at the sorry state of television comedy. But this sitcom would have a tough time with a laugh track: When a gung-ho young suicide bomber is sent over to help them on a mission, the characters keep anyone else from being hurt, but the bomber is killed.

Ms. Schwartz, of Regency Television, said for this reason she believed the script might work best as an animated series, like "The Simpsons," because audiences will forgive outrageousness in cartoons that they will not in live action. Others have suggested a stage play, a short film or even a Web site along the lines of jibjab.com.

The script's writers, meanwhile, have landed three assignments thanks to "The Cell": a feature for Universal about children's entertainers who double as burglars; a comedy about the worst hospital in America, for Ms. Schwartz at Regency; and a family time-travel comedy for Paramount. But they hold out hope that their pet project will find a fearless patron. And they are not alone.

"I can't imagine that an advertiser-supported broadcaster would be playing with this," said Mr. Littlefield, the former network president. "But at some point maybe someone will try it. I'm sure there would be a lot of people that said you can't do this, but that's what they told me about 'Will and Grace.' The things that scared us, more often than not, had the biggest upside."

In 1791, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart died of a heroin overdose at the age of 27. He is believed my many to be the first rock star, and the first rock star to die young. Marie de France, in her "Lay of Tyndall the Minstrel," wrote of a young lutist who died embarrassingly of autoerotic asphyxiation, but her story is largely believed to have been a factional invention.

Lest anyone think that the Bush Administration sat idly in the first hours after Hurrican Katrina hit, I thought I'd remind everyone about the assistance offered to the most vulnerable among us, a story that has slipped from the front page due to the subsequent carnage

Nation's Strategic Petroleum Reserve to release some oil
By Sue Kirchhoff, USA TODAY

WASHINGTON — The Bush administration Wednesday said it would release oil from a special federal reserve to help refiners hurt by Hurricane Katrina. The announcement relieved some pressure in oil markets, but gasoline prices kept soaring Thursday, and spot shortages developed.

The decision to let companies request oil from the government's 700-million barrel Strategic Petroleum Reserve came after Katrina knocked out 95% of crude oil production in the gulf. More than a dozen gulf refineries are closed or operating below capacity, and oil rigs, pipelines and ports are down.

EXXON LOAN APPROVED
Exxon Mobil will borrow 6 million barrels of crude oil from the government's emergency stockpile to allay shortages from Hurricane Katrina, the Energy Department said Thursday.

Exxon Mobil will borrow 3 million barrels of sweet crude and 3 million barrels of sour crude from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, the department said.

Loan requests from other refiners were still being reviewed, the department said, adding it would announce any further loans as they are finalized.

Analysts and Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman said the move would be of limited use. The main problem now is lack of refining capacity to turn crude oil into gasoline.

"It will probably help a little bit, but not materially," said James Rollyson, senior energy analyst at Raymond James & Associates. "Our inventory situation with crude is not in that bad a shape. It's refined products, and particularly gasoline; that's where we really need help."

Rollyson said a separate administration move that temporarily eases environmental rules governing gasoline and diesel fuel would probably do more for supply.

Bodman told the Associated Press that the reserve could deliver 5 million barrels of oil per day, more than three times the amount of lost gulf production.

ENERGY MARKETS TODAY
Gasoline supplies tightened Thursday in markets that depend on shipments from Gulf Coast refiners and pipelines, and motorists increasingly faced pump prices well in excess of $3 a gallon.

Gasoline futures surged for the fourth day in a row on the New York Mercantile Exchange, sending prices 25% higher in less than a week. Unleaded gasoline for October delivery traded at $2.42 per gallon, an increase of more than 16 cents.

Oil held strong near $69 a barrel as crude oil contracts for October delivery rose 51 cents to $69.45 a barrel.

Complete markets report

The stockpile, stored underground in Texas and Louisiana, was last used after 2004's Hurricane Ivan. Companies that borrow from the reserve must pay it back, at a slight premium.

Bodman said he had approved the first request for oil from the reserve, but didn't know how much would eventually be borrowed. He did not disclose the names of firms requesting oil.

"Will it make a major difference in the price of gasoline? Based on the numbers that I see, probably not," Bodman told AP. "It'll help some, but we have significant refining capacity that is dysfunctional."

Red Cavaney, president of the American Petroleum Institute, told a news conference that opening the reserve was only a partial solution, but would provide stability to refiners that are operational: "You have to keep feed-stock going to them if you're going to have any hope of keeping them up and running."

Some members of Congress, including Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., had wanted a more aggressive release. Lawmakers plan energy hearings. Cavaney urged better conservation.

But analysts doubt much could be done in the short term. "You can't put (crude) in your car and go," said Sean Sexton, energy analyst with Fitch Ratings. "Don't drive, that's all your choice is."

Troops begin combat operations in New Orleans

By Joseph R. Chenelly
Times staff writer

NEW ORLEANS — Combat operations are underway on the streets “to take this city back” in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

“This place is going to look like Little Somalia,” Brig. Gen. Gary Jones, commander of the Louisiana National Guard’s Joint Task Force told Army Times Friday as hundreds of armed troops under his charge prepared to launch a massive citywide security mission from a staging area outside the Louisiana Superdome. “We’re going to go out and take this city back. This will be a combat operation to get this city under control.”

Jones said the military first needs to establish security throughout the city. Military and police officials have said there are several large areas of the city are in a full state of anarchy.

Dozens of military trucks and up-armored Humvees left the staging area just after 11 a.m. Friday, while hundreds more troops arrived at the same staging area in the city via Black Hawk and Chinook helicopters.

“We’re here to do whatever they need us to do,” Sgt. 1st Class Ron Dixon, of the Oklahoma National Guard’s 1345th Transportation Company. “We packed to stay as long as it takes.”

While some fight the insurgency in the city, other carry on with rescue and evacuation operations. Helicopters are still pulling hundreds of stranded people from rooftops of flooded homes.

Army, Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps, Coast Guard and police helicopters filled the city sky Friday morning. Most had armed soldiers manning the doors. According to Petty Officer 3rd Class Jeremy Grishamn, a spokesman for the amphibious assault ship Bataan, the vessel kept its helicopters at sea Thursday night after several military helicopters reported being shot at from the ground.

Numerous soldiers also told Army Times that they have been shot at by armed civilians in New Orleans. Spokesmen for the Joint Task Force Headquarters at the Superdome were unaware of any servicemen being wounded in the streets, although one soldier is recovering from a gunshot wound sustained during a struggle with a civilian in the dome Wednesday night.

“I never thought that at a National Guardsman I would be shot at by other Americans,” said Spc. Philip Baccus of the 527th Engineer Battalion. “And I never thought I’d have to carry a rifle when on a hurricane relief mission. This is a disgrace.”

Spc. Cliff Ferguson of the 527th Engineer Battalion pointed out that he knows there are plenty of decent people in New Orleans, but he said it is hard to stay motivated considering the circumstances.

“This is making a lot of us think about not reenlisting.” Ferguson said. “You have to think about whether it is worth risking your neck for someone who will turn around and shoot at you. We didn’t come here to fight a war. We came here to help.”

I'd like my ashes inserted into shotguns shells and fired at a public figure to be determined at a later date. 

August 28, 2005. 6:42 pm. Autumn has oficially begun. A cold fast wind is banging a loose window screen against the glass, and it's clear it'll never be as hot at it's been -- at least not for the rest of this year.

My goodness, this week's Entourage was something special. Awesome exchanges.

One between Mandy Moore's agent, Barbara Miller (Hi, Mom!), the whole Moore team, Vince's agent Ari Gold, and Vince's manager Eric Short Man.

Barbara Miller (Hi, Mom!): We both know that Vince has fucked half the actresses in this town. Mandy, on the other hand, is a good girl.
Eric: You seriously gonna sit there and let them badmouth Vince like this?
Ari: I thought that was a complement.

and

Vince's loser brother Johnny and loser bodyguard Turtle with Billy, the director of Vince's film QUEENS BOULEVARD. They're asking Billy to listen to a track to include on the movie's soundtrack.

Turtle: Billy, I know music. Trust me.
Billy: All right, but I want Johnnny's watch.
Turtle: No problem. (to Johnny) Gice him your watch.
Johnny: I ain't giving him my watch!
Billy: I'll put the liquor store scene back in and I'll listen to the song.
Johnny: Deal. (Gives Billy the watch)
Billy: I was going to put that scene back in anyway.

It's funny because it's true.

Thai PM To Pesky Reporters: Buzzzz

Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has long complained of press criticism. But he sought to turn the tables Thursday with a new tactic — sounding a buzzer every time reporters ask questions he deems "not constructive."

To the surprise of journalists and colleagues alike, Thaksin raised a handheld buzzer — which displayed an "X" sign — from behind the podium to indicate his disapproval of some questions asked at the first in a new series of weekly news conferences.

The button-pushing Thaksin sounded the alarm when a Thai newspaperman asked why the government had failed to seek parliamentary consent before introducing an emergency decree in the volatile southern provinces, where a Muslim insurgency has taken hold.

"Not constructive!" he exclaimed, referring to the reporter's question and a related one about whether foreign terrorists might be linked to the rebellion.

But other questions elicited a sweeter response: when a female reporter asked about government plans to offset rising oil prices, Thaksin's gadget emitted a pleasant tone and displayed an "O," signaling his approval.

Thaksin joked about the buzzer to puzzled reporters: "My son brought it from Japan for his sister, and I just borrowed it to use with the media to make the atmosphere more relaxing."

But some journalists failed to see the humor.

"I think it's a little overboard for a prime minister to do anything like that because in this forum, I think, reporters have the right to ask any questions that concern the Thai people, the public interest," said Tulsathit Taptin, editor of The Nation, an English-language daily.

"They have the right to ask those kinds of questions," he said.

The new series of news conferences was organized by the government to give reporters better access to Thaksin and to information about government activities.

It wasn't clear whether Thaksin planned to keep using the buzzer.

On several occasions in the past, Thaksin has refused to talk to the press for a period of time after being angered by critical questions.

Great new blog by the screenwriter of Snakes on a Plane: http://hucksblog.blogspot.com/

Excerpt:

After a number of months I get my first offer: rewriting a serial killer movie for this little production company. I was living in an attic with shag carpeting, a velour sectional and a mattress on the floor. I had $1500 to my name. Unbeknownst to me until years later, this is how the negotiations went:

MY AGENT: I'm calling to discuss the Josh Friedman deal.
BUSINESS AFFAIRS: Great. I hear it's his first job. Congratulations.
MY AGENT: Thanks.
BUSINESS AFFAIRS: Whatcha looking for?
MY AGENT: A million dollars.
BUSINESS AFFAIRS: What kind of dumb fucking lesbian are you?
HANG UP.
MY AGENT: Shit.
SHE DIALS AGAIN...
MY AGENT: Can I have a second chance?
BUSINESS AFFAIRS: Twenty thousand dollars. Take it or leave it.
MY AGENT: Take it. Thank you very much.
BUSINESS AFFAIRS: I'm sorry about the dumb fucking lesbian comment.
MY AGENT: No problem.

I found myself dissapointed by a story in the Weekly World News: DUMB POLISH HOOKERS PAY MEN TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM! That's not a WWN story, that's a Polack joke. It should be something like DUMB POLISH HOOKERS PAY BATBOY TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM!

Bush praises families of troops in Iraq

By Joseph Curl
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
Published August 25, 2005

NAMPA, Idaho -- President Bush yesterday paid glowing tribute to family members of soldiers serving in Iraq, telling hundreds of Idaho National Guardsmen that America owes them a debt of gratitude.

The president singled out Tammy Pruett of Pocatello, Idaho, who now has four sons in Iraq and whose husband and another son returned from war last year.

"Tammy says this -- and I want you to hear this -- 'I know that if something happens to one of the boys, they would leave this world doing what they believe, what they think is right for our country,' " Mr. Bush said.

"And I guess you couldn't ask for a better way of life than giving it for something that you believe in. America lives in freedom because of families like the Pruetts." The crowd, made up mostly of military family members, broke into cheers and "USA" chants.

Throughout Mr. Bush's 45-minute speech, the crowd of about 10,000 gathered in this Boise suburb offered thunderous applause -- rivaling that of supporters during his last presidential campaign.

The crowd stood in applause for a full minute after the president, leaning into the microphone to make his voice boom through the hall, vowed: "So long as I'm the president, we will stay, we will fight, and we will win the war on terror."

Singling out Mrs. Pruett appeared to be a direct rebuttal of anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan, who has camped out for much of August near the Bushes' Texas ranch demanding a meeting with the president to discuss what she calls a "senseless war."

Mr. Bush, who after his speech yesterday met for the 25th time with family members of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, on Monday told reporters, "I've met with a lot of families. [Mrs. Sheehan] doesn't represent the view of a lot of families I have met with."

Mr. Bush met last year with Mrs. Sheehan, whose son, Army Spc. Casey Sheehan, was killed last year in Iraq. The president has now met with nearly 1,000 family members of 297 soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, White House officials said yesterday.

"We'll complete our work in Afghanistan and Iraq," Mr. Bush said. He took aim at critics who have called for U.S. withdrawal from Iraq, saying: "An immediate withdrawal of our troops in Iraq, or the broader Middle East, as some have called for, would only embolden the terrorists and create a staging ground to launch more attacks against America and free nations."

Mr. Bush said the country faced a "clear choice" -- one of nine times in his speech that he used the word "clear" -- after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001: Either give in to terrorists and isolate America or "bring the war to the terrorists, striking them before they could kill more of our people."

"I made a decision. America will not wait to be attacked again," he said. "We will confront emerging threats before they fully materialize."

Mr. Bush chose Idaho for yesterday's speech because the state has the highest percentage of National Guard troops currently serving in Iraq. The president used his speech to pay special tribute to Guard members and their families. More than 243,000 Guard members have been called up to serve in the war on terror, including more than 1,700 from Idaho.

"A time of war is a time of sacrifice, and a heavy burden falls on our military families. They miss you and they worry about you. By standing behind you, you're standing up for America -- the families are standing for America. And America appreciates the service and the sacrifice of the military families," Mr. Bush said.

The president, who noted that he is among 19 U.S. presidents to have served in the Guard, described as heroes the 491 Guard and Reserve members who have lost their lives in the fight against terror.

"And now we'll honor their sacrifice by completing their mission," he said to cheers from soldiers.

===

When I first read this article, it was from a Drudge link about Tammy Pruett, who I assumed was chosen to counter Cindy Sheehan because she was a mother who had lost a son (or "sons" actually) in Iraq, yet still supports the war. Turns out that no, Mrs. Pruitt has not lost any of her family serving, but still supports the war. I just can't see this as an effective rebuttal.

Which is yet another way I disagree with the Bush administration. The article, which is as sympathetic to Bush and the war as one might expect from the conservative Washington Times, says Singling out Mrs. Pruett appeared to be a direct rebuttal of anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan, who has camped out for much of August near the Bushes' Texas ranch demanding a meeting with the president to discuss what she calls a "senseless war."

Since this talking point is coming from the right, it's a safe assumption that conservatives actually think that producing a woman who has not had a family member killed in the war is an effective, affecting response to counter a woman who has, in fact, lost a son. It boggles the mind. "Liberals ignore the good news from Iraq. We shouldn't focus on the soldiers who have been killed. What about all the soldiers who haven't been killed?" Do they honestly think that Sheehan's and Pruett's situations are equally tragic and moving?

My advice to the Bush administration: find someone who has lost a child who supports the war, if there are any. It'll be a whole lot more convicing.

My Free Will Astrology horoscope was surprisingly on-topic, considering my new messianic goals: A company's CEO is its chief executive officer, and the CFO is its chief financial officer. Even if you already serve in one of those roles, I'll ask you to give yourself a different title for at least the next two weeks: CVO, or chief visionary officer. In fact, please become an excitable purveyor of thrillingly out-of-the-box ideas no matter what line of work you're in, or even if you're unemployed. It's time for you to dream up possibilities that have been inconceivable until now. But also keep in the back of your mind this caveat, courtesy of business visionary Tom Grueskin. When asked by Fast Company, "Can the imagination ever run too wild?", he replied, "The imagination itself, no. What's done with it, yes."

Last night I went to a karaoke fundraiser at Theater Schmeater, where I'm on the board. I asked a friend of mine if she wanted to come. She said, "No, I'd rather go to the Rendezvous." That's a local one-time dive bar now gentrified into a hipster hang out.

"What's going on there," I said.

"I don't know."

As one might imagine, the fundraiser was not a great success.

On Friday, I went home sick from work and saw The 40 Year Old Virgin. There was an elderly couple in front of me in the ticket line. When I asked for my ticket, the old man turned to me and said, "Is that your life story?" I don't remember the last time a stranger insulted me. I'm also concerned that I look forty.

I'm always good for a crazed shooter story. But it's rare when the article, almost as an aside, reveals that this year's Marine of the Year was a mortician. Sadly, he was probably the hardest-working Marine in Iraq.

Decorated Marine opened fire on noisy crowd
By Associated Press
Sunday, August 14, 2005

LAWRENCE, Mass. - A Lawrence man who was named ``Marine of the Year'' last month is charged with firing a shotgun at a crowd of revelers outside his second-floor apartment, wounding two people.

Thirty-three-year-old Daniel Cotnoir allegedly fired a bullet at the crowd only minutes after he called police to complain about the noise they were making as they left a nearby nightclub and restaurant early Saturday.

The Lawrence Eagle-Tribune reports that a 15-year-old girl and a 20-year-old man were injured by bullet fragments from the shooting.

Cotnoir was arrested and held on $100,000 bail. He was to be arraigned tomorrow on attempted murder charges.

Last month, the Marine Corps Times presented Cotnoir with its annual Marine of the Year award. He beat out 180,000 other candidates for the honor.

Cotnoir, now a Marine reservist, was a military mortician in Iraq. During his deployment last year, he was responsible for preparing soldiers for open-casket funerals.

Update on the World's Ugliest Dog. I am very relieved that he is not a cuddler.


'Ugliest' Dog Is a Thing of Beauty to His Owner


Some people won't even touch Susie Lockheed's pooch, a champion of hideousness. But she's dedicated to him despite the world's opinion.
By Wendy Lee
Times Staff Writer

August 15, 2005

SANTA BARBARA — Some may call it a tale of beauty and the beast. But Sam, a 14-year-old pedigreed Chinese crested, and a three-time champ in the World's Ugliest Dog Contest, is the dog of Susie Lockheed's dreams.

Lockheed, 53, enjoys massaging Sam's fleshy, thin, potato-chip ears and running her fingers through the small patches of white hair on his head.

She likes kissing Sam's hairless frame, littered with blackheads, brown warts and moles. Even his hindquarters have a large hernia lump.

Then there's his right eye, left a reddish-purple from cataracts, which stands out from the other, which is a milky white.

"I've never had a dog this much in love with me," Lockheed said. "I really baby Sam, and kiss him a lot. He's a toad [that's] going to turn into a prince."

Sam is one of four hairless dogs that love to groggily lounge on the couch in Lockheed's Santa Barbara home, where she operates a beauty salon.

Lockheed grew up in Palos Verdes Estates with household pets and suffered from allergies that would worsen when she was near furry dogs.

She said her life changed when a friend gave her TatorTot, a Chinese crested and Chihuahua mix, for her 40th birthday. "I never had a dog I could cuddle with before," she said.

Later, Lockheed would adopt dogs Tinkerbelle and Sam and would buy PixieNoodle, all hairless dogs. Her friends approve the "cuteness" factor of the other dogs. Sam is a different story.

Though Lockheed had wanted her other dogs, she had to be persuaded to take in the world's ugliest dog. He had already been rejected by an adoption agency, which deemed him too homely for any home they knew. Sam's former owner, who was moving to a place where dogs weren't allowed, was desperate, Lockheed said.

"He didn't look so good then, but he's looking worse now," Lockheed said, adding that in recent years Sam has gone blind and suffered illness. "There's something quite noble about Sam. Even though he's unattractive, he expects to be treated like royalty."

A year after Lockheed took in the dog without a home, she suffered a relapse of thyroid cancer, with which she was first diagnosed as a teenager.

After drinking a radioactive iodine treatment, Lockheed had to stay at home for five days, and her entire room had to be covered in plastic — even the telephone. Friends had to leave food by her door because of the radiation. But she wasn't alone; Lockheed was able to keep one dog with her, and she picked Sam.

The two enjoyed lounging and watching television. Sam never left her except to visit the side yard through his doggy door. The two have been inseparable ever since. Now Sam cries when Lockheed isn't around.

"He made a grave situation really fun. I think dogs are a gift from God. They don't care if you're having a bad hair day," Lockheed said.

But as the only male dog in the household, Sam was sometimes treated as an outcast by the other dogs, who were jealous of the attention Lockheed lavished on him. He was even blocked from the couch by the females.

Then in 2002, Lockheed saw a Jay Leno show featuring the world's ugliest dog from the Sonoma-Marin Fair, which has held the contest since 1989. She knew Sam would be a natural.

To prepare, she skipped Sam's usual treatment with mild lactic acid lotion, which clears off dead skin cells, for a few days and let his nails grow out.

"You don't practice, and you certainly don't groom," Lockheed said. "It's the opposite of preparing for Westminster," the big New York dog show.

Sam won, and has taken the fair's title every year since, including last month. Lockheed plans to enter Sam in a similar contest in March in Del Mar.

Some of her closest friends remain perplexed about the love affair: the world's ugliest dog hanging out with the daughter of a New York beauty queen. Lockheed, who performs facials, waxing and lash tints in her home salon, is perky. Sam is grouchy.

Her good friend Rebecca Player, 53, refuses to touch Sam's dangling, loose flesh.

"He's just too disgusting," Player said, adding that Lockheed once brought Sam into her workplace and everyone gasped. No one wanted to pet him.

"She's beautiful, carrying this dreadful-looking animal," Player lamented. "You really do see people grimace when he walks by. Poor guy."

Sometimes having an ugly dog has its pitfalls. Player said Lockheed was trying to console a guy she was dating by telling him, "You're a very attractive man." He responded, "Why should I listen to you? You tell Sam he's beautiful."

Lockheed spends $1,000 a year on her dogs, buying them bottled water, always keeping the heat at 70 degrees or above, fixing home-cooked meals for them, and letting them sleep with her under the sheets and her goose down blanket.

Lockheed closely watches Sam, who must take a number of pills each day to combat heart problems and kidney disease. To coax him to eat his medicine, Lockheed slips it into lean buffalo meat, tasty cheese balls, French toast or flan.

But that treatment is not extended when Lockheed spends the night at her fiance's ranch, which she does every weekend. Mark Tautrim, who never allowed his dogs indoors before, bans the hairless pack to the back bedroom.

But at some point during the night, Sam will invariably demand Lockheed's attention, letting out a shrill cry — "straight out of a horror movie," Tautrim said. Lockheed races to Sam's rescue and spends the rest of the night with her dogs.

"We say our goodnights and [then] I ban her to the back bedroom," Tautrim said.

Unfortunately, luck in love hasn't extended to Sam. He's still chasing after the yellow Lab next door, Mahia, after an on-and-off, three-year relationship.

"It's cute," said Mary Judge, Mahia's owner. However, Judge said there would be "no babies" with her dog and Sam.

Sam's health is so frail these days that Lockheed never leaves his side and refuses to take trips abroad. She turned down an invitation to her niece's wedding in Capri this October because she thought Sam wouldn't survive the flight to Italy.

"I think it's amazing how she can care for such a hideous dog," said Lockheed's childhood friend Susie Weller, adding that the dogs "are kind of like her children."

Weller recalled how Lockheed would squeeze out Sam's blackheads, and how every time, Sam would growl.

Lockheed said her customers have all grown accustomed to Sam's presence, some even requesting that Sam sleep on their laps. At Christmastime, Sam receives more presents from clients than she does.

A former actress who once tried to launch her career in Los Angeles, Lockheed says she is now a proud canine stage mom. She regularly blogs on her website, Sam … "World's Ugliest Dog," which has drawn more than 2 million hits since its creation in July. The site sells Sam magnets and T-shirts. Reporters have called from as far away as Japan and Holland to hear his famous growl.

Lockheed brags that Sam has received far more fame than she ever had while starring in community musicals. She sees him paraphrasing the resonating line of Norma Desmond, the fading silent-screen actress in the movie "Sunset Boulevard," whose beauty and youth have long disappeared.

But Sam really might be ready for his close-up. The more he ages, the uglier he becomes and the more successful he becomes. Lockheed hopes she can extend his success to Hollywood. She plans to hire an agent for Sam to help him appear in films and commercials.

But she's up against time.

"I worry about [Sam's health] terribly," Lockheed said, adding that she would be surprised if Sam was alive for the next ugly dog contest.

"I just feel he's like on borrowed time, and every day is just a blessing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, not just for luck, but because I love him so much."

*

The ugly facts

Susie Lockheed met her fiance, Mark Tautrim, in February 2004 after he saw a photograph of Lockheed and Sam posted on Match.com and e-mailed her, asking "What is that?"

• Sam's name is derived from the biblical story of Samson and Delilah. "Samson's strength is in his hair," Lockheed said. "We know how much strength Sam has in his hair," she joked. Sam is a Chinese crested hairless.

• Lockheed graduated from UC San Diego with a degree in theater. She went on to star in a number of community theater musicals including "The Wizard of Oz" and "Singin' in the Rain."

• Sam's website is: www.samugliestdog.com.