Pansy Division.

The Arts | Theatergoers protest plan to move disabled parking | Seattle Times Newspaper

The Arts | Theatergoers protest plan to move disabled parking | Seattle Times Newspaper

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At first I thought this was pretty obnoxious, but then I started to think about the possibilities. For my memorial garden, I'd like to displace an orphanage or a homeless shelter, or both.

This is my face, captured as I viewed the rough cut of 'Marrow' for the first time. good film!

NICE WORK

I was reviewing a recently submitted grant application, and found this line in the budget.

ONE LETTER MISSING

God, this is wonderful.

Is Kill Box yours, Dad?

Is Kill Box yours, Dad?

OBAMA'S POPULARITY PLUMMET

From my cursory reading of a few right-wing web sites, there's a lot of gleeful cackling over Obama's favorability rating "plummeting" to 47%.

Bush's popularity was 47% in August 2001.

And at that point, Bush hadn't done anything.

Open Sattelite is hosting the greatest art instation in the history of art.

'Dylan' pronounced like 'pylon.' Kids

'Dylan' pronounced like 'pylon.' Kids today, I swear...

There's a man drunk on

There's a man drunk on paint next to Trader Joe's.

ROBERT NOVAK DEAD AT 78

I think the headlines should read "Beltway Prince of Darkness Goes on to Meet Namesake."

I'm camped out in line

I'm camped out in line for 'Ring' tickets.

It's like Woodstock, except with dtugs instead of fucking.

Harshing our mellow.

This a very sketchy looking cash machine.

This piece of driftwood looks like a whale.

Blue Moon. 'I hope she has purell,' says the girl next to me.

TOP TWENTY MUISICAL ARTISTS

The top 20 musical acts on my hard drive, by number of songs:

1) The Beatles
2) Pink Floyd
3) Elvis Presley
4) Johann Sebastian Bach
5) Kinks
6) Bob Dylan
7) Rolling Stones
8) The Clash
9) Hank Williams
10) David Bowie
11) Ronnie Lane
12) The Sweet
13) Small Faces
14) Stooges
15) Tim Buckley
16) The Raspberries
17) Devendra Banhart
18) The Faces
19) Gram Parsons
20) Velvet Underground

Yeah, Sweet is at #12. Nice.

'I am not a hypocrite...

'I am not a hypocrite... in this matter.' Nice save, Michelle Malkin.

Hmmm... Satan?

WHEN WILL YOU UNBELIEVERS LEARN?!?!?!!

WHEN WILL YOU UNBELIEVERS LEARN?!?!?!!

Wisdom from the bathrooat the Mecca.

There are two goats living near me.

Oh noes! It appears that Blue Onion Bistro, home of 'Seattle's Best Chicken Fried Steak' haz closed.

Overheard: 'It costs 75 bucks.'

Overheard:
'It costs 75 bucks.'
'Nobody has any money!'

The ephants are active today. One waved his or her trunk at me. As always, look in the center of the photo for the smallest elephant picture ever.

MAYBE THE GREATEST PICTURES EVER

Dispatch from my 900-pound Native

Dispatch from my 900-pound Native American lawyer:
FWD: I just met Marion Barry!

My spot! You're in my

My spot! You're in my spot! Get out of my spot!

- said one panhandler to another. I always wondered if that happened.

IT'S ALL TOO BEAUTIFUL

This is an interesting cover of Itchycoo Park.

It's a world gone mad.

Wow this elephant is goin crazy.

This must be the legendary Greelake Heron I've been hearing about.

Spanish Lesson Guy - dead?

There are tranny fratguys infesting Greenlake. What does this say about America?

MY THEORY OF THE PALIN RESIGNATION

It's going to come out that Trig never had Down's Syndrome. It was all a ploy for sympathy and pro-life credibility.

As a side note, I can't believe I refer to a six-month old special needs infant named Trig by his first name, like I know him or something. It's ridiculous that the poor kid is on a first name basic with some nutbar like me in the Lower 48.

OVERHEARD AT THE LAKE: What

OVERHEARD AT THE LAKE:
What are you doing for New Years? We don't have any plans.

Sleaze.

On the bright side, after

On the bright side, after three long years I figured out how to keep the sunroof open when my car is turned off. Three years it took me.

Primitive. Interesting.

Now that I've gotten my kicks in, I can reflect more soberly on Michael Jackson. For me, he existed as a musical genius for precisely one album: Thriller. I remember my older sister offering to buy it for me (hey, whatever happened to that offer? No album was forthcoming. I got back at her a few years later by trading her copy for Van Halen's first record). And I was not impressed with Bad.

But along with John Belushi, Michael Jackson formed my first image of the superstar. Certainly, he was one of the first I heard urban legends about. My aforementioned sister was appalled by one rumor I ran past her, that Jackson had cut off his penis to accommodate being fucked by Paul McCartney.

In seventh grade music class I recorded a song called "Werewolf by Night" inspired by "Thriller" and the eponymous Marvel comic.

I remember when Jackos played the 1993 Superbowl, one of my roommates was convinced he made multiple appearance through the use of underground tunnels. Such was the mythology.

I disagree with Andrew Sullivan here that the abuse Jackson suffered wasn't sexual. It's long been my theory that Jackson lost his virginity before the age of ten, and that's what turned him into such a... you know, a freak. I have no doubt in my mind that groupies would be predatory enough to deflower a kindergartner.

By the way, Jackson's death doesn't end things. It's unfair to expect more from a man who has already given us so much, but more is gonna get got. Just like James Brown's passing led to riots and revelations of a transsexual common-law "wife," Michael is undoubtedly going to inspire no shortage of craziness from beyond the grave. Call it an encore.

BAD

I can't believe this day has finally come. Michael Jackson, dead at 50 from a heart attack. I can't believe he was fifty, and I'm shocked it wasn't mass suicide.

Here are my greatest hits in regard to the King of Pop. Spelling errors have been retained to uphold my youthful integrity.

August 30, 2002: I disagree starting [Rocks' Greatest Meltdowns] with Michael Jackson at #1, although if they were going in reverse chronological order it might make sense.

November 20, 2002: And what's the deal with his children being white? I don't care how much you bleach your skin, it ain't gonna change your chromosones, right? If I took a bunch of tanning pills, would my kids be black? The mind boggles.

November 20, 2003 (by Jason Probst): He has everything going for him. It’s not like he’s some street junkie getting a public defender. He’s not poor. And he hasn’t been black for several years. If anything, the sympathy factor in favor could be critical.

November 20, 2003: I know I implied I didn't want to comment on the subject, but I heard a theory about Michael Jackson that bears repeating: when he commits suicide, or dies, or whatever, his face will transform back into the handsome black man he used to be.

November 25, 2003: There just doesn't seem to be anywhere to go beyond Michael Jackson.

November 25, 2003: ...this article about Michael Jackson has "broken the record for Most Prison-Rape References Per Paragraph of anything published under the Microsoft banner."

November 25, 2003: For a moment, I briefly considered announcing a permanent moratorium on Michael Jackson comments. But then I realized, I got nothing else.

December 4, 2003: I'm a little nervous about Michael Jackson popping up in scarifying artwork by mentally disabled artists. I wonder if it's a cultural phenomena, or is the King of Pop meeting these outsider artists? BTW, these painting are titled, "The Bad Thing That Happened Part 1," "The Bad Thing That Happened Part 2" and "The Bad Thing That Happened Part 3."

December 18, 2003: Well, no suprise that the King of Pop has been charged with drugging and molesting children. It is only my appreciation for his fine album Off the Wall and my sypathy for his childhood friendship with a rat that prompts me to give him this free advice: Keep your fucking family away from the media.

March 5, 2005: I don't know if he's a demented, self-mutilating child molestor, or a rare magical being we've managed to persecute, but I do think , when all is said and done, that we all got our share of entertainmnet out of Michael Jackson.

'Nuff said.

I call this: Symbology.

This band is ridiculously tight and professional. The average age has to be 12. Maybe. School of Rock. Go figger.

OVERHEARD 'No Jaegerboarding?'

OVERHEARD
'No Jaegerboarding?'