Friday, August 30, 2002

I don't really like Rolling Stone. In fact, I really fucking hate the magazine. I've never liked its lazy, self-satisfied writing, its flewxible standards, and its staid, compromised view of rock music. One year, Paul McCartney was on the cover three times. And you know how much everyone loves Paul McCartney. Anyway, this time they actually have something entertaining, like Rock's 50 Greatest Meltdowns. Naturally, even weak-0sister competetor Spin did a better job of this a decade ago, but that doesn't stop Jann Wenner and the boys. I disagree starting it with Michael Jackson at #1, although if they were going in reverse chronological order it might make sense. And they ridicule one-time cover-boy Vanilla Ice in a passage that allows coke-head psycho Naomi Campbell and Big Daddy Kane (remember him?) to pass by inscathed. There are some moments I didn't know existed, like the punk-rock episode of Quincy. And mixing up publicity stunts like U2's "Popmart" tour with genuine moments of madness like James Brown's cross-state driving spree shows questionable judgement. And it's unforgiveably incomplete; in the passage on Bill Wyman's marriage to a nineteen year old, they miss the most equisite freakery of it all: Wyman's son married the teen bride's mother, establishing a menage that looked like an Appalatian family tree. Of course, the most infurating thing is how many of these "meltdowns" were covered in all serious by heavy breathing Rolling Stone sycophants. In the end, it isn't so much the quality of the story as it is being reminded of very special exhibits in the pop culture freak show.

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