AND AGAIN I SAY, "WHAT DE FUCK?"

Gay lovers go out on limb
By DEREK ROSE and BILL HUTCHINSON
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS



A teen and his transgender partner romp in Central Park tree.

Two lovers, naked as jaybirds and apparently as crazy as looneybirds, climbed a tree in Central Park yesterday - and put on a bizarre four-hour show that drew cops and hundreds of gawkers.
In a shocking new twist on the birds and the bees, a 17-year-old boy and a 32-year-old preoperative transsexual offered an X-rated sex spectacle - refusing cops' pleas to leave their unlikely love nest 50 feet above the Chess and Checkers House.

The standoff ended at 8:30 p.m., when the duo voluntarily came down and embraced as onlookers cheered. They were then taken away for psychiatric observation.

"We don't get this back home," said tourist Elise Gaillard, 21, of Adelaide, Australia. "Crazy Americans."

Earlier, the teen told cops that his parents did not approve of his relationship with his newly bosomy pal. "I want my mother and my psychologist," he yelled.

When police began scaling the leafy larch tree, the couple climbed higher.

"You think I won't jump?" the transgender tree-hugger screamed at cops, who rushed two cherrypickers to the scene and put a huge airbag around the base of the towering larch.

At one point, the older of the couple broke off a branch and threatened to throw it at cops, before demanding a vanilla diet Pepsi.

When police handed up a regular old diet Pepsi, the 32-year-old hurled the can to the ground, screamed, "Vanilla!" and declared, "What I say goes!"

The couple also shouted complaints about the portrayal of transgender people in the media, and called for an apology on national TV.

"I think they were just mentally distraught, fed up with how people were treating them," said Detective Steven Elter, who climbed up the tree to talk to the couple. "We just tried to talk to them and make them feel comfortable."

The incident came just days after two Canadian women took a swim - fully clothed - in the Central Park reservoir.

Yesterday's surreal antics prompted tourists like Louise Sharp, 24, of Scotland to change their sightseeing plans.

"We were going to go to the Empire State Building, but we thought we'd stay here instead," Sharp said.

HEROES OF PORNOGRAPHY
Part XVIII of a Series



Dr. Sharon Mitchell

Dr. Sharon Mitchell spent 25 years in the Adult Entertainment Industry as an actress, appearing in over 2000 movies, as a dancer performing in venues all over the world, and she has produced and directed over 42 movies. Dr. Mitchell founded the AIM Healthcare Foundationin 1998. AIM is a nonprofit organization serving sexworkers and the general public in areas of HIV testing, and counseling of many types, including gynecology services, STD testing and treatment and industry related educational groups and videotape informational materials. Dr. Mitchell is active in all forms of local and national government and is considered as an activist and educator for sexworkers all over the world. Through her, AIM has become affiliated with government health services in Los Angeles County and at the national level. She regularly speaks about HIV prevention education throughout the US, and has traveled to Hungary and South Africa to address community leaders and sex workers there.

There's a somewhat amusing article on Salon about the Columbine massacre, five years later. It's full of Salon's annoying liberal piety, but as is the case in most articles about mass murderers, there's entertainment to be had:

Rohrbough also blames the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department for looking away from the menace Klebold and Harris had become. At its fairgrounds press conference, the department revealed that it had had no fewer than 15 contacts with Harris and Klebold in the two years leading up the killings. Besides the complaints about snowballs, prank calls, and the burglarized van, the police had been called twice about a Web site Harris had created, in which he threatened death and destruction. On the site, he openly discussed the testing of pipe bombs that he had built and named Atlanta, Pholus, Peltro and Pazzie. "Each has a 14' mortar shell type fuse," Harris wrote, at the age of 15. "Now our only problem is to find the place that will be 'Ground Zero.'" (In the days immediately after the shootings, Sheriff's Department officials would deny that they knew these Web pages even existed).

Atlanta, Pholus, Peltro and Pazzie.

Now, I may be crazy. but I've never actually named my pipe bombs. Rifles? Sure. Severed limbs I've collected? Of course. But bombs? That's fucking nutty.

As a side note, I've noticed that the featured personals of the day that are advertised on Salon tend to be a lot older and less attractive than the ones on other sites I visit.

I believe everyone who has a web site featuring photos, assuming they're at all good looking, should include in their FAQ whether or not they're seeing anyone.