>From: Popbitch
>To: Popbitch
>Date: Wed, 08 Jan 2003 21:22:01 +0000
>Subject: "Spot the pram face"
>Message-ID:
>
>"Jesus Christ said suffer the little ones to come
>unto me, not that they should be eaten for public
>entertainment." - Anne Widdecombe MP
>---------------------------------------------------
>POPBITCH! _ _ _ _
>_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
>| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
>| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
>| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
>|_| |_| 08.01.03 *issue 147*
>subscribe or unsubscribe: http://www.popbitch.com
>our email: hello@popbitch.com
>
>* Axl Rose and the sad spiral of doom
>* Parlez-vous Council?
>* Charts: Girls Aloud spend 4th week on top
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Jordan's Smoking Gun?
> Gareth: too quick on the draw
>
> Jordan says she was evidence to back up her
> claim to have slept with teen-mong Gareth Gates.
>
> Could it be a text message from Gareth
> apologising for shooting his load too fast, and
> promising it won't happen again...?
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Rio Ferdinand was overheard at the recent Comedy
>Awards saying he'd like to shag Carol Vorderman.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Keep it together, Liza! <<
> Minnelli teeters on the brink
>
> Remember those scenes in Bowfinger when
> Eddie Murphy's character would mutter
> "keep it together, keep it together" in an
> effort to avoid going mad and having to be
> returned to his "celebrity relaxation centre"?
>
> Well, life imitates art. Liza Minnelli was
> shopping in the main Ralph Lauren store in
> New York over Christmas. While browsing through
> the racks of clothes, she stopped suddenly and
> started chanting to herself, "Minnelli, get it
> together. Minnelli, get it together..."
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Shania Twain's brother Darryl is a bingo caller at
>the Londonderry bingo parlour in Edmonton, Canada.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Parlez-vous Council? <<
> No. 1: Pram Face
>
> "Pram Face": a phrase used to describe a popstar
> who has a face that looks more suitable on a
> girl pushing a pram round a council estate.
>
> (See Liz Atomic Kitten, Emma Bunton, Keisha
> Sugababe, the ginger one out of Girls Aloud etc)
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Macy Gray's Christmas gift to members of her
>management team were boxes of live lobsters.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Big Questions <<
> Blind items leading the blind
>
> Which Tory MP left the following items
> in his desk pedestal over Christmas:
> 1 pair of soiled underpants
> 1 hard hat
> (They were found by cleaners)
>
> Which Manchester City player likes to wear
> his matchday kit while getting noshed off by
> girls at a hotel. His mate videos the action
> from a cupboard?
> (FYI: This story comes from the man who supplies
> DVD porn to two Premiership football squads,
> so, er, it must be true, right?)
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Madonna's next single will be American Life, out
>this spring, with video by Jonas Ackerlund. She's
>planning a theatre tour later in the year.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Shirley not? <<
> Lord Jenkins: wonder shagger
>
>miserable_cunt writes:
> "I'm genuinely quite sad that Roy 'Woy' Jenkins
> has died because he reformed gay, abortion and
> divorce laws. But now he's dead, I suppose the
> Popbitch in me kicks in and I can inform you
> all that he had a fairly long affair with
> Hollywood actress Shirley Maclaine."
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Eurovision fan boards are buzzing with the rumour
>that Cheeky Girls are being lined up as UK entry.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> How Axl Rose finally lost it <<
> It was all down to one fur coat
>
> The Guns n Roses revival ended in riots last
> month, when Axl Rose refused to take the stage
> in Chicago. But what caused Axl to meltdown,
> after his triumphant performance in New York?
>
> After selling out Madison Square Gardens, Axl and
> entourage went on to celebrate at NY club Spa.
>
> When he got to the door, Axl was politely asked
> to remove his fur coat before entry (the club
> has a strict no fur policy). Being a Rock Star,
> he refused, but the club would not make an
> exception for him.
>
> And then Axl realised the truth. No matter how
> successful his comeback, he was no longer The
> Man. He could no longer sweep all before him
> like the golden god that he once was.
>
> So that was that: he refused to come on stage in
> Chicago. The tour is off. His manager has been
> sacked, band members have quit and no-one
> believes for a second that he will ever record
> the vocals for the new album.
>
>(FYI: It gets worse. Axl is today fighting to save his
>fabulous mountaintop Malibu mansion from forest fires.)
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Courtney Love turned up at Joe Strummer's funeral.
>She threw herself on the coffin, wailing loudly
>like one of those toothless Middle Eastern ladies.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Bob Maxwell recruits via penis <<
> Semi-erection required for success
>
>judge_pickles writes:
> "Robert Maxwell bought a Squirrel helicopter in
> 1986 and insisted that the pilot must be a
> woman under the age of 28.
>
> "There was an anonymous recruitment campaign
> offering complete training at a cost of about
> £30,000. During the physical tests that took
> place at Robin Hill, Maxwell himself used to
> turn up. He watched the women doing the assault
> course from an underground hut that they used to
> run over before jumping over an eight foot wall.
>
> "The women would only pass on to the next part of
> the course if they gave Maxwell a 'semi'."
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Oh Jesus. People are starting to talk seriously
>about The Spice Girls reunion tour.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> People who should be hit with a sea-bass <<
> No 1: Trinny and Susannah
>
> A Trinny and Susannah album is in the pipeline.
> Provisionally titled You Wear It Well, the
> album will contain the girls' shockingly awful
> covers of their favourite tracks, including Rod
> Stewart, Barbra Steisand and.... Radiohead.
>
> Please... somebody... go to the fishmonger,
> buy a sea-bass, and hit the hideous witches
> in the face with it. We will reward you.
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>BBC newscaster Sophie Raworth has been told to get
>a Trinny and Susannah makeover for her hair.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Ned Kelly... <<
> The new Swept Away?
>
>Mr M writes:
> "I saw a rough cut of Heath Ledger's new film
> yesterday, "Ned Kelly" - the Australian outlaw.
>
> "It's shithouse of the highest order, especially
> Heath himself. He's meant to have an Irish
> accent, but comes off with a worst one
> than anybody in 'Gangs of New York". There's
> poor acting, crap editing, and the music (so
> far) is pretty bad.
>
> "This, my friends, is the turkey of the year."
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>Brad Pitt went to Kickapoo high school.
>---------------------------------------------------
>
>
> >> Things to make you go Hmm <<
> Ainslie, hairdressers and porn
>
> The theme to S Club's Seeing Double feature film
> is Who Do You Think You Are. Its not a cover of
> the Spice Girls single, thank God. But the
> chorus does include the lyric:
> "When You're A Clone,
> You Know You're Never Alone"
>
> Ainslie Fame Academy's old band, Suburbia:
>http://www.suburbiamusic.com/
>
> Ellen Morphonios, the judge who in 1969 prosecuted
> Jim Morrison for showing his cock at a Doors
> concert, has died. She was known as one of
> America's most hardcore judges, kept a
> toy electric chair in her chambers and had
> a pet chimp called Bubbles, who had to wear
> nappies to go to the courtroom.
>
> Israeli pets get ready for war:
>http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2604701.stm
>
> Poor Diana Ross. Not only did she get arrested
> for drink driving last week, but the police
> who arrested her made a video of her spectacular
> breath-test failure. When asked to stand on one
> leg and count to 10, she laughed and fell over.
> And couldn't remember the alphabet.
>
> George Michael porn-a-like. Love the socks!
>http://www.popbitch.com/images/porno020.jpg
>
>
> >> Chart Predictions <<
> New entries for Sunday 12 January
>
>++ Number One
>GIRLS ALOUD Sound of the Underground
>Cheryl's first concert was Steps: Nadine's
>was Westlife; Sarah's was Eminem; Nicola's
>was Take That and Kimberley's was Eternal.
>
>++ Top Ten
>ELECTRIC SIX Danger! High Voltage
>Vocal cameo from Jack White.
>
>DIVINE INSPIRAION The Way
>Producers Lee and Dave have been working
>together for 13 years: they got together with
>vocalist Sarah Jane after meeting in Menorca.
>
>ERASURE Solsbury Hill
>Cover of Peter Gabriel's 1977 hit.
>
>++ Top Twenty
>RICHARD ASHCROFT Silence Is Silence
>The PB messageboard opinion: its Fairytale
>of New York mixed with Julian Lennon's Saltwater.
>
>BADLY DRAWN BOY Born Again
>Band now features Andy Rouke from The Smiths.
>
>FLIP AND FILL I Want To Dance With Somebody
>Their banging house covers of 80s pop
>becoming very tedious now.
>
>AUDIO BULLYS We Don't Care
>Great video directed by Walter Stern, who
>also did Prodigy's Firestarter and The
>Verve's Bittersweet Symphony.
>
>++ Top Forty
>IN ME Crushed Like Fruit
>Essex hard-rock trio's first album Overgrown
>Eden is released this month.
>
>80s MATCHBOX BEELINE DISASTER Psychosis Safari
>Amen's Casey Chaos produced two of the
>additional tracks on this release.
>
>LEVELLERS Wild As Angels
>Band formed in 1988 in Brighton.
>
>
> >> End Bit <<
>
>Please email us stories, facts, gossip,
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>
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>
>
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>Old Jokes Home:
>A man goes to see an optometrist.
>The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."
>The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"
>The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other
>patients in the waiting room."
>
>Still bored?
>Check out what the web geeks recommend:
>http://www.b3ta.com/features/awards2003/
They appear to be from Britain. I just love how they speak this foreign language over there. Pram face, noshing, teen-mong, matchday kit... And who are some of these celebrities? Keisha SugababeIt? Lord Jenkins? It's like a nation of teenagers...
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