One-minute Oscar commentary: Halle Berry's dress inspired me in my fight against Iraq. Is Keanu Reeves retarded? Is it in bad taste to make a joke about Robert Blake shooting his wife to a room full of people who presumeably know him? Please tell me Daniel Day Lewis wasn't fucking crying after U2 played. Michael Moore is a fat douchebag: why did he start yelling? It made him look like an idiot. My favorite smug Hollywood moment occured when the editor of Chigaco thanked its director, Rob Marshall, for his "vision" and they cut to Marshall in the audience, whispering, "you're welcome." God, that was so self-important and beautiful, I almost cried. I actually thought it was pretty cool Adrian Brody won Best Actor. I mean, he's my age, all the other nominees had won before (they all looked genuinely happy for him, except for Michael Caine), and it was his first nomination. I felt sort of bad for Brody during his speech, though: if I looked down from my podium to see Richard Gere nodding his head in sanctimonious agreement, I'd seriously reconsider what I was saying. And I thought it was a nice touch they did Best Actress in a later and more prestigious spot than Best Actor. Small, nice gesture. And I didn't see nine out of ten of the nominated films, so I have no opinion on the winners or nominees.