Brian Gunn has a nice little piece up on Billy Bear/aka Sonny Landham.

Inspired a bit by the piece, I traveled to Landham's website, specifically his Campaign For Governor page. He is running at the people's advocate. Is it me, or does it seem like candidates for state office in the South tend to have criminal records. Yeah, I know Landham was railroaded, blah blah blah, but I can't imagine Washington state, for example, electing a felon. Maybe it's a Republican thing.

I was intrigued that the Sonny Landham for Governor campaign headquarters address is Henry Clay House, 1740 Winchester Avenue, Apartment 409, Ashland, Kentucky 41101. Yes, that's "Apartment 409." That made me wonder if the campaign phone number listed on the page was his home phone.

Sonny Landham: Hello?

Use Once & Destroy: May I please speak to Sonny Landham?

SL: Speaking.

UO&D: Uh, hi.

SL: Can I help you with something?

UO&D: Uh, yeah. Yeah, I saw your homepage on the internet.

SL: What?

UO&D: I'm with Use Once & Destroy, Inc. We're a multi-media corporation based in Seattle. Would you be available for a short interview?

SL: Use Once & Destroy?

UO&D: We're all big fans of 48 Hours .

SL: Excuse me?

UO&D: How did playing Billy Bear affect your life?

SL: What?

UO&D: That was a major role, and you are a major icon. And an inspiration to Indian Americans everywhere.

SL: Thanks.

UO&D: And now you're running for governor. Governor Billy Bear. Ha ha!

SL: Whoa. It's more than that.

UO&D: I'll say.

SL: Are you making fun of me?

UO&D: No.

SL: You're making fun of me. [Latham sighs] Okay, I'm going to say this, and then I'm hanging up. Okay?

UO&D: Okay.

SL: Okay, first, you don't call people up at midnight. Okay? Okay? Hello? Hola? Si?

UO&D: Yeah. Sorry. It's only ten here.

SL: Yeah, well, it's midnight here.

UO&D: Sorry.

SL: Yeah. And don't do weird shit like this. Calling people? What, you just do that?

UO&D: Yeah, sometimes. Sorry.

SL: It's weird shit, man. Doing that is weird shit. I'm running a serious campaign.

UO&D: I know.

SL: I'm the people's advocate in this race. I don't have time for fags like you.

UO&D: Yeah.

SL: I don't like being made fun of.

UO&D: I'm not making fun of you.

SL: Bullshit. Bullshit. You call me up at midnight, you say you work for a website, you're obviously drunk-

UO&D: I'm not drunk.

SL: It's bullshit. This isn't funny.

UO&D: Sorry

SL: Thanks.

[Pause]

UO&D: Uh...

SL: Are we done?

UO&D: Yeah.

SL: Don't fucking call here any more.

UO&D: Okay.

SL: I got your number on the caller id. I'm serious.

UO&D: Okay.

SL: It's [number deleted]. I'm serious.

UO&D: Okay.

SL: Goodbye.

UO&D: Thanks. Goodbye.

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