I'm glad that after two weeks of fighting in Iraq, we've finally been able to zero in on a real story: the rescue of 19 year-old West Virginia cutie Jessica Lynch from the hands of the infidels. I'm not going to bother with bullshit disclaimers like, of course I'm glad she's safe, and I support the troops, blah, blah, blah, because I really couldn't care less.

I just want to point out a few strange things. All my information is from a Washington Post article. I don't think it's a coincidence that the first high-profile POW was a woman. One of the things the Administration and the pro-warbies have been harping on is the state of women in the Middle East. So, a female soldier acting heroically against these chauvinist mongols is, shall we say, a real propaganda victory, with a dash of poetic justice thrown in. Also, since the ingrate Iraqis aren't exactly lining up to be liberated, it is nice to see a pretty, all-American photogenic rescued after we've endured photo after photo of those miserable-looking sand people. They're not like us. They're hardly human. Not like Jessica. Sigh.

The unnamed US officials have described her heroism in the face of capture, as reported in the Post: "[She] fought fiercely and shot several enemy soldiers after Iraqi forces ambushed the Army's 507th Ordnance Maintenance Company, firing her weapon until she ran out of ammunition." I detect a bit of the Gulf of Tonkin here; that incident never even happened, but the New York Times had no trouble describing n detail the pitched battle. Private Lynch was the only survivor of the incident, and I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume she wouldn't have related such a self-aggrandizing report, seeing as the rest of her unit is dead, and she's probably not much in a condition to talk right now (the article suggests she has not been debriefed yet).

Isn't it disturbing that Private Lynch is being praised for fighting to the death? "She was fighting to the death," the official said. "She did not want to be taken alive." I thought our respect for life was what separated from the terrorists. Aren't we supposed to encourage, maybe killing everyone else? To paraphrase Patton, nobody ever won a war by dying for their country.

In conclusion, I will observe that she's adorable, and on a note of what should be considered hypocrisy, condemn Senator Pat Roberts for saying, "Talk about spunk!" which is something nobody would say about a guy. I'm sure when the time comes, Senator Roberts will congratulate the "little lady" personally.

Those are my confused thoughts.