David Sedaris rawks.

A light rain began to fall, and just as I cleared my throat, Venus squatted in the grass, producing a mound of peanut-sized turds.

"Aren't you going to clean that up?" I asked.

Paul pointed to the ground and whistled for the Great Dane, who thundered across the lawn and ate the feces in one bite.

"Tell me that was an accident." I said.

"Accident, hell. I got this motherfucker trained," he said.

"Sometimes he'll stick his nose to her ass and just eat that shit on tap."

I thought of my brother standing in his backyard training a dog to eat shit and realized I'll probably continue thinking about it until the day I die. Forget the tears and brotherly speeches, this was the stuff that memories are made of.

The Great Dane licked his lips and searched the grass for more.

"What was it you were going to say?" Paul asked.

"Oh, nothing."