Fuck. I was hoping for a freak show.

Page Six

VH1 has pulled the plug on the "Liza & David" show after weeks of frustration trying to deal with David Gest - a svengali who continually restricted access to his new bride, Liza Minnelli.

"We discovered what a lot of people already knew: David Gest is impossible to work with," said a source close to the aborted reality show. "David Gest redefines the term 'control freak.' He was almost insane."

The heavily hyped cable show was originally supposed to debut Dec. 8, then was pushed back to January. Yesterday, VH1 lawyers wrote to Gest's lawyers informing them the deal was off because Gest had breached the contract repeatedly.

"In light of your . . . inability to cure these breaches, it is with great regret and sorrow that we must notify you that we have no choice but to terminate the agreement," the letter states.

Rob Weiss, VH1's head of East Coast programming and development and one of the show's executive producers, told PAGE SIX:

"We've made the decision not to move forward with the 'Liza & David' show on VH1. Although we continue to believe that Liza is an amazing talent, we were not given the cooperation that we were promised."

Weiss would say no more, but insiders said Gest:

* Kept Minnelli locked in their apartment. "She'd want to come out to shoot, and he wouldn't let her," said one source.

* Banned Liza from watching dailies.

* Made the crew take off their shoes and wear surgical booties inside the apartment.

Gest was such a "neat freak," insiders said, he once ordered a female member of the VH1 crew to stick her head in the oven to examine some dirt.

Another time, Gest made a crew member stand with a portable vacuum cleaner while a hole was drilled in a plaster wall.

But the worst problem was lack of access. "This went beyond creative differences," said our insider. "He canceled us about 20 times. He had a bodyguard stand outside to keep the crew out."

Gest would call producers as late as 2 a.m. and everything would be worked out, "but he'd break every promise in the morning," our source said.

Producers didn't get inside to start setting up until three days before an Oct. 21 party Gest threw, and never saw the guest list - Dominick Dunne, Isaac Mizrahi, Lynn Wyatt, Sandra Bernhard, Liz Smith and Cynthia McFadden - in advance.

Ray Charles and Luther Vandross both performed, but Gest refused to give the microphone to chart-topping teen Michelle Branch or Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child.

"Gest refused to listen to our producers," our source said. "He thought he knew best."